You may have noticed that what goes on in your mind you may not have much control over. In many ways much of whats goes on in our mind is not our fault or even our intention. It is amazing that nearly 3000 years ago Buddha had this insight about the mind and come to the same fundamental conclusion; that because we have no control over whats in our minds then it implies that it’s not our fault or our intention to have those thought in our mind.
It is now well accepted that two major factors that influences us are our genes and our early environment; and we have no control over neither of them. We are hard-wired, so to speak, by our genes and our early childhood experiences but had no say in the process. We were not consulted, no one asked our permission. But it is the interaction of the genes and the early childhood experiences that gives us our sense of “being oneself “; this experience of oneself may vary from feeling amazing to feeling severely traumatized, and we had no say in the matter.
Even though we had no say in the design of ourselves and we have little control over our mind we can still take responsibility in a new way so that we can live in and work with such a mind. It is like taking responsibility for our physical body; we had no choice over what body we were given but we still have the responsibility of looking after it to keep it healthy. We have to eat right, exercise etc. The same is true for our mind, we are learning that our brain and mind need certain kind of input to function well.
We will explore what kind of input is required for our brain and mind to function well. But until than it is important to realize that we are not to blame about whats going on in our minds. We can be kind and compassionate to ourselves.
Resources
The Compassionate Mind. by Paul Gilbert
Related articles
- How to Be Good (to Yourself) (psychologytoday.com)
- Self-Blame and Taking Responsibility (urbanmonk.net)
- Science fuels push for education re-think (abc.net.au)
Sandra Town
/ April 17, 2012Incredible . . . things that I have “known” but sometines had no reason to “know” . . . “that we are hard-wired, so to speak, by our genes and our early childhood experiences but had no say in the process . . . these experiences may vary from feeling amazing to feeling severely traumatized, and we had no say in the matter . . . we are not to blame for what goes on in our mind . . . but we can take responsibility in a new way so that we can live and work with such a mind . . . learning that our brain and mind need certain kind of input to function well” . . . absolutely!!!! Brilliant Dr. Chana . . . and then to read on to the related article you referred to “Science fuels push for education re-think” . . . Fantastic!!! I can look back at my mother’s experience of pregnancy when I was in her womb . . . and it was not a good one for her – my father was away working a lot of the time, she smoked and did not eat particularly well . . . and probably lived in a lot of fear (her mother had died when she was only 12) . . . and the first two years of my life, were probably pretty much the same . . . along with the belief of the time that babies should be bottle-fed, they should sleep lots (if not all the time) and should be left to cry because they may be spoiled – although I know my mother and father did their best – I see the affect on my life, my brother’s lives as well as my parent’s lives.
Somehow, I knew when I was pregnant (along with reading . . . it was also a “knowing”) that this time was very important. I used to talk to my pregnant belly all the time (and I would forget when I was in public and people would look at me strangely). . . and then to my baby son constantly . . . not leaving him to cry (my mother scolded me often that I was spoiling him – but I needed it for me too – it nurtured both of us) . . . nursing him until he was almost two (OMG) . . . and also having the family bed . . . Funny thing (or not) . . . my (now ex)husband was away a good majority of the time . . .
Dr. Chana . . . all your blog topics always seem to be just perfect timing for me . . . so synchronistic . . . thank you!!!! I enjoy every one and look forward to the next . . .
Blessings,
Sandraj
drchana
/ April 17, 2012Sandra I am glad it helps to clarify and understand some of the thoughts you may have had.
We are all on the road of discovery.
Thanks you for your wonderful comment.
ibelivetoday
/ April 17, 2012Hi Dr. Chana!
Ur blog is beautyfulllllllll n m eagerly waiting for ur next write which is bout inputs to feed our mind!!
Very nice one!! Keep writing cuz there r many who luv ur write:)
Cheers
Shraddha
drchana
/ April 18, 2012Thank you for the kind feed back.
Next post coming soon. ….within 24hrs.
rim bhiri
/ April 19, 2012very interisting thougts
MT Everest
/ May 1, 2012Dr. Chana, you make easy reading and understanding of this subject…. that is your gift! I look forward to reading more as well.
drchana
/ May 1, 2012Thank You